Biblical Parenting for Teenagers
Intro:
1. A communication barrier is erected - the child develops a wounded spirit.
2. He becomes ungrateful - he feels society owes him everything.
3. The child becomes rebellious - the formation of gangs.
4. Then - he becomes a teenager.
I. The Teenager Engages in Immorality
A. Immorality is rebellion against righteous conduct.
B. The real cause is rebellion against everything mom & dad stand for.
1. Gal 5:19-21 - The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dis- sensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God. Common rebellion today is under- lined.
2. Rom 1:26-27 - Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion. Immorality leads to homo- sexuality.
3. Phil 3:19 - Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. They are proud of their immorality!
C. The problem is that the teenager looks for acceptance & identity from others outside his family circle.
1. Acceptance is found from enjoying the same music & doing the same things.
2. Identity is found by dressing alike, having the same hair style & being seen together.
3. But - the Bible says Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.” - I Cor 15:33.
4. So what’s a parent to do? Eph 4:32-5:2 - Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved child- ren and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
D. Our typical reaction.
1. We question his motives & actions.
2. We investigate his activities.
3. We measure his morality by our standards when we were his age.
II. The Teenager Expresses a Condemning Spirit
A. What does he condemn?
1. His parents - they have never understood him.
2. His society - he is against the establishment.
3. Himself - I don’t know of a single teen with the spirit of condemnation that has a positive opinion of himself! Suicide was # 1 cause of death among depressed teens a few years ago!
B. The real cause is deep seated guilt.
1. Rom 2:3 - So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God’s judgment?
2. Prov 22:8 - He who sows wickedness reaps trouble, and the rod of his fury will be destroyed.
3. God’s judgment simply becomes an echo of his own!
C. The problem is the teenager’s condemnation may be well deserved.
1. Ex 20:4-6 - You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.
2. Do you have hatred for God within your family?
3. Are your teenagers influenced in any way by anyone who hates God?
4. So what’s a parent to do?
a. Check out your own attitudes about the Lord.
b. Is he really calling the shots in your life or are you just playing Christian?
c. Is there anyone in your family, even remotely related, who needs the Lord & has an influence on your teen?
d. Confront them about the power of an ungodly lifestyle on your teen.
D. Our typical reaction.
1. We justify ourselves & defend our actions.
2. We under estimate the power of example & attitudes exerted on our teen.
2. We are so grieved over the conduct of our teen that we become frustrated.
E. Practical rules you can use when relating to a teen.
1. Don’t equate obeying rules with moral development.
2. Be attentive to your teen’s reasons for their moral judgments.
3. Make distinctions between rules for good manners & household order, & issues of moral substance concerning justice & human relationships.
4. Allow children to participate in making household rules.
5. Try not to react more harshly to your teen’s carelessness than you would if an adult committed the same act.
6. Respect your teen’s right to an apology when you are wrong.
7. Discuss what your teenager considers to be fair or unfair in family relationships & procedures.
8. Let teens establish procedures for getting household chores done.
You can make mistakes raising children & they will usually turn out okay. But you do need the word of God in your heart & the power of the Holy Spirit for strength in your life to raise children to the glory of God.