How to Be Holy in Your Marriage
I Peter 3:1-7
Intro: I Pet 1:15-16 - But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”
I. v7 - How to Be Holy as a Husband
A. What should your attitudes be towards your wife?
1. Be Considerate (γνῶσις) = have knowledge, understanding.
a. Learn to understand women in general - female characteristics, as they differ from men.
b. Get to know your wife specifically through your communication & observation.
2. Live with your wives not only in a physical way & emotionally.
a. Physically: Eph 5:31 - For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
b. Emotionally: you can live physically with your wife but be out to lunch emotionally.
3. Treat her with respect.
a. Respect (ἀπονέμοντες τιμὴν) = lit. “assigning value”, so honor, esteem, cherish.
b. She is a fellow-heir to the kingdom of God & as valuable as you are in God’s sight.
c. If you keep in mind how valuable she is to both you & the Lord, the minor irritations won’t get to you as much.
4. Ephesians 5 tells you to love your wives.
a. Love (ἀγαπάω) = give of yourself to satisfy her needs. To what degree?
b. v25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. c. v28 - In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
d. v29 - Be sure to feed & care for her!
B. What are the results? An unhindered prayer life!
1. It’s possible to grieve the Holy Spirit (Eph 4:30).
2. There’s power in prayer when two agree (Matt 18:19).
3. If you’re not right with a fellow Christian, you’re supposed to make things right before you worship God (Matt 5:23-24).
II. v1-6 - How to Be Holy as a Wife
A. What should your attitudes be towards your husband?
1. v1 - Submissiveness.
a. Submit (ὑποτάσσω) = lit. to arrange yourself under, rank under, obey.
b. ILL: Rowers in a Roman warship (Ben Hur).
c. This is the same word for submission to the government (2:13), a slave’s submission to his master (2:18), & here, your submission to your husband.
d. In Ephesians 5:21 - Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ - submission goes both ways
e. v22 - Submission is unto the Lord.
f. God has chosen the husband to be the head of your household!
g. Eph 5:23 - For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.
h. I Cor 11:3 - Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
2. v2 - Purity.
a. Purity (ἁγνὴν ἀναστροφὴν ὑμω̂ν) = lit. “your behavior that is free from ceremonial defile- ment”, clean, sacred, holy.
b. ILL: Ceremonial cleanness - sacrifice had to be the right kind of animal, the right gender, the right age, free of any disease & really, really physically clean.
c. ILL: Jewish women baptized after every menstrual period - made ceremonially clean.
d. ILL: Converts to Judaism were baptized - made ceremonially clean.
3. v2 - Reverence - respect.
4. v3-4 - Beauty.
a. Our culture emphasizes that physical beauty is all that counts! (Commercials, beauty contests, emphasis of sex in movies & TV)
b. ILL: Churches which have over reacted.
c. God’s Principle for Feminine Beauty is a matter of focus - emphasize the character & attitudes of a quiet & gentle spirit more than physical appearance.
B. What are the results? Power with people & power with God!
1. v1 - You may win your unbelieving husband to the Lord.
2. Who do you become like with this attitude? Lk 22:26-27 - Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.
3. A genuinely humble, submissive, quiet & gentle spirit has power with people. The apostle Paul said, Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. - I Cor 9:19
4. v4 - You are of great worth in God’s sight!
Do you want to stand out from the world & be holy?
Treat your spouses with godly behavior and
the world will see the wonderful difference!
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